Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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