My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
