I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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