Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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