He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
