we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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