I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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