he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize