I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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