Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
