We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
