i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
