when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
