The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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