the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
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