i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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