it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
