she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
