Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
