oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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