he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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