I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
