bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
