i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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