Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
