it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Still dying that you shit outside
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
