If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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