She said her name was "party"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
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So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
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Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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