That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
