and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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