I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
