A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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