Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
