I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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