You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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