alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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