They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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