Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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