If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
