Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
