I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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