I accidentally burped into my bong.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
