he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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