I'm going to jail i love you
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
