what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
