i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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