omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize