I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
