WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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