Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize