There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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