I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize