you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
