it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
