listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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