dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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