I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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