I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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