i think i have herpe
just one?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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