you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
someone owes me an orgasm
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
