yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
