Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
