i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
